23 Life Lessons I’ll Surely Share With My Brother’s Grandchildren

I learned them sooner than everyone else.

Photo by Johnny Cohen on Unsplash

I’m 17 and crazy. I started early. I’m not in the league my friend are in so I made my unique story and learnt some life lessons that are always mandatory. Today I’ll share it with you finally.

1. Suits might shine too, but maybe you’re in debt. True shininess is in the soul.

There’s zero coolness in materialistic things. Anybody can buy an iPhone after taking a loan or selling your kidney, but that’s not coolness. You lost your kidney.

Some people try to flaunt their money with suits and Lamborghini and iPhones. But, a new iPhone version is released every year. Where will you get another kidney?

True coolness isn’t in the suit you wear but in your soul that shines through your work.

There’s nothing to be insecure about someone reviewing their latest vlogging gadget. You lose scope of improvement that way. Maybe that gadget is what you need to increase the quality of your video.

2. Take decisions when you’re sad to save abundant time & money.

Happiness is impulsive. I ordered two plates of biriyani last day. I enjoyed the first plate but I had to leave out the second one. I was full.

When you get the salary, there’s a reason you tend to spend it: because you are happy.

This is exactly why you are stingy when you are sad, aka with the last dollar in your pocket.

3. Smartness is always getting started to get rejected.

Every time I face rejection, I reignite with greater power, refine my goals, redefine my purpose, refresh my perspective, realize I’m dumb and refuge to quit.

And I always rise revitalized.

You might still fail at some other point, but, in the end, you can say “I didn’t reject myself.”

4. Find your unfair advantage to make your life easier. It takes 9 seconds.

The moment you stop measuring something is the moment you are in your unfair advantage.

I don’t count how long I walk because I love it.

Here’s an interesting question to find your unfair advantage: What are the things your friends hate that makes you hate them?

My friends hate walking and wherever they tell me this, I start hating them.

While I am walking, I can think of different perspectives to include in my writing. And writing is thinking out loud. Plus, I’m done with my exercise too. Walking is my unfair advantage.

5. The slower you climb to the top, the less bone breaks when you fall.

You fall a lot slower if you grow slow. Because you get to explore roads others couldn’t and become immune to all the rejection and roadblocks you might face later on.

Writer, Sean Kernan, realized something profound: slow is smooth and smooth is fast.

6. To move forward, you have to unbalance something.

You can’t swim without disturbing the water. You can’t walk without pushing the earth.

You can’t make everyone happy. But you can try it. Trying is always fun but ensure you rightly contribute whatever your duty is towards your family and friends. Everyone else comes second.

7. It’s harder to protect independence than earn it.

When we finally get the freedom to do things on our own, oftentimes we end up losing everything we have.

College students know it. They think they got a superpower after turning 18. This is an extreme example: they start drugs, leave their studies and end up at the Rehab for the rest of their life.

8. You don’t need to impress anyone except you.

A volunteer at our team who reads my Medium stories asked me to write a story on love and romance. I don’t know anything about it. I kindly told him this.

Who needs recognition from others if you reward yourself by standing firm with your beliefs and what you love?

10. Winning an argument still means losing the person.

Arguments don’t make you special. Interaction does. You are simply exchanging words when arguing. But, you exchange meaningful words when you interact.

Do you want to completely ‘lose the person’ or just ‘lose to the person’?

11. Pretend to be the underdog and people will lift you.

People hate smart people but they love making someone smart. It makes them feel good about themselves.

You don’t get much trying to be smart. Because nobody is. Pretend to be the underdog and you’ll become smarter than you are.

12. To find your why, you need to do what first.

I didn’t know I wanted to have a positive impact on my reader’s life unless I started writing on Medium consistently.

With why, your what becomes clear.

13. Nothing can trouble you as much as your own thoughts.

You can’t have peace from your mind ever, because it wants you to keep safe by thinking about the bad outcome.

Demand peace from your mind by being excited about whatever you do, now.

14. You are your own inspiration.

Everything you do matters and whatever you do becomes your inspiration. Your inspiration is what you tried, doesn’t matter you win or fail. Your inspiration can give you your next step or a bigger purpose in life.

You are the only one you need for you.

15. The price of your interests increases as you grow up.

Life gives us chances but you can make it an opportunity. Your interest becomes your stories later on. Now is the best time to run after your current interests. If you don’t, your interests can become your regrets at the deathbed.

Your interests make you interesting.

16. Make your happiness so affordable you can experience it daily.

When I used to get a piece of cake as a child, I was the happiest kid in the room. Now eating at the five stars too doesn’t give much happiness. Not because I don’t have a camera to post my meal on Instagram, but because I made my happiness too expensive.

As we grow older, we increase the price of our happiness too, mostly because we stop appreciating and celebrating our small wins. Those small wins pile up to form something huge and we don’t realize it because we want instant, big wins to be happy.

17. Be silent to have stories to tell later on.

Sometimes when the wound is very much, rather than cry, you can create. Sometimes when the pain is intolerable, you can isolate and improve. Sometimes when loneliness scares every part of your body, just have patience.

Sometimes when you can’t share your pain, be silent.

With pain, we grow. With silence, we observe, freely. By observing, we grow.

It’s easy to try in silence. Nobody cares about you and that’s an advantage. You learn a lot and have a lot of rare stories to share later on.

Silence is the freedom to experiment.

18. Motivation can never get you to act. It can just help keep you running.

Motivation is the pickle. Too much of it and you’ll have diarrhoea — frustrations. You don’t just have a pickle and survive. You have pickle when you don’t feel like having rice. Only pickle is not enough. You also need the rice — that’s hard work.

Motivation helps us run what we are already acting on, not get us started to act.

19. Routine bores you. Get out of it as soon as you can.

Employees are unproductive for good reasons. This pandemic made it clear. Pandemic increased the employee work productivity to over 13%. This isn’t a coincidence. Nor it is because of reduced exposure of your boss’s face.

It’s because you’re finally out of your routine. Your routine changes daily.

You changed your cousin’s best friend’s child’s diaper at 9.04 a.m. today. Yesterday you were eating scrambled eggs with tomato ketchup at that time.

Before the pandemic? It was your office hours. You had to be present in the office and working in front of your computer at the time.

Routine bores us. Entertainment is in variety. Variety of colours makes a rainbow colourful. Variety of events makes your life colourful and meaningful. Get out of the routine if you haven’t already.

20. Mix emotional curry with your dream rice.

It’s easy to have a dream. What’s hard is to have a strong emotion for that dream. That emotion could be called a dire necessity or urgency.

"I don’t feel like doing” isn’t your unique excuse. Nobody loves whatever they do. We do it because we have to. We do it because it’s a necessity.

Your parents go to work because of their emotion (dire necessity) to support your education and well-being is strong. You don’t feel like going to school because your emotion (dire necessity) to pass the exam isn’t strong, because your parents are there behind your back.

Nobody loves work. We do it because it’s a necessity. Mix the emotional curry with your dream and you’ll get what you want, quickly.

21. Nothing prestigious is easy. Nothing easy is prestigious.

You sit down to write creatively and “Man, it’s hard.” You sit down to drink politely and “Man, it’s tough.” You sit down to bath wholly and “Man, it’s harsh.” But simply writing or simply drinking or simply bathing is easy, because it’s just that — simple.

Nobody wins Everest by mistake. Nobody passes the exam by ticking the options unconsciously. Nobody gets a scholarship by saying how scholarly he is. Nobody gets a job offer letter by simply sending out love letters to his dear.

It requires hard work and perseverance.

Do you know why you can see thousands of people in any fair or festival? Because that’s easy — it’s easy to roam around and gossip and take selfies. The courageous ones who don’t fear something hard are the ones who got on the stage (and also became the centre of attention while doing that.)

22. Procrastination doesn’t paralyse us, regrets do.

Procrastination is the inability to finish something on time.

We don’t procrastinate because we are lazy, out of confidence or self-esteem. We procrastinate because we regret.

We regret watching that movie for five more minutes and it soon turned into two hours. We regret not studying right from the beginning of the semester and now it feels a load. We regret not starting earlier and now it feels late.

The surefire way to stop regretting is to stop having expectations. Stop caring about your past or future. Start looking into the present. Feel your breath. Feel the surrounding.

Don’t text your friends. Drive to their home.

Don’t order online. Shop with your mom.

Don’t sit. Go to the park with your colleagues.

Don’t eat. Enjoy every bite.

Regrets paralyze us to think. This then gets us to procrastinate. That procrastination again gets us to regret and the cycle continuous. Stop that from now.

23. Be so good others keep ignoring you.

When you are the best, you don’t need to be trained. You don’t need to be guided. You don’t need to be mentored.

You just need to be ignored. Because you are capable, yourself. Because you can think, yourself. Because you can make the right decision yourself. Because you know when to say no. Because you know you could be wrong too. Because you know you can always try and that is a success.

I strive to become good at whatever I do, especially in my job — marketing and writing so I can be ignored.

At our company, as a marketer, I strived to be so capable I don’t need other’s permission. So that people don’t wait for me. So that I can do whatever I want whenever I want. So that I don’t need to join daily scrum or have to mark a task done in my sprint goals. So that others trust I’ll finish what I say.

Takeaway

Some wisdom are everlasting. I learned them early. This saves you from unnecessary frustrations and anxiety. And, you always remain happy.

My story might not matter but it'll gently touch your interior and remind you how smarter you are. Google forced to include numbers: shajedul.karim.01@gmail.com

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