How to Stop Worrying Once and for All
“A day of worry is more exhausting than a day of work.”
Isn’t that true?
Yeah, at the end of the day, we all worry about something or the other. May it be how to pass that exam without studying, how to propose her being ugly, how to stop going to work, yet get paid — every silliest thing ever possible.
Don’t you feel that silly?
If yes, let us first disclose why do we actually worry…
Why Do We Worry?
We worry because we fear failure.
We worry because we think something bad will happen to us.
We worry because we can’t control things, which we want to.
We worry in anticipation of getting the solution because we think worrying is thinking. But, it’s actually not…
What Is Worry Actually?
I define worrying as an awesome process that takes away our current happiness and makes us think about the things we can’t control, thus leaving us frustrated.
Worrying isn’t thinking. It’s overthinking.
Worry Is An Useless Emotion.
Do you remember how you ended up breaking your mobile, or beat up your wife, or worse yet hurt yourself just because of those negative feelings while worrying that you took out on those things you love?
And, worse yet, do you remember how you self-medicated yourself with drugs and alcohol or digital screen due to chronic worrying about something?
This is why worrying is SO bad.
It leaves you feeling restless, it causes insomnia, achy head, stomach issues, and worst, you lose your concentration and peace.
It makes you do HARMFUL things.
Worrying Is Not Always Bad.
Your crush is running away with your best friend just because you snore at night.
Well, you gotta worry about this. You gotta stop the damn snore.
If not, you’ll get a baby shower invitation from her on your Valentines'.
So, what I mean is, worrying is not always bad. But, when our life/our most important things are on stake, it’s not about worrying, it’s about thinking. Because thinking leads to a solution. And, worry leads to frustration.
When you stop worrying, you start rocking.
Things To Do To Stop Worrying:
1. Create a daily “worry” period.
Simply block out 10–15 minutes on any certain part of the day daily and just worry in that period. Worry as if there’s no tomorrow. And, only a maximum of 15 minutes — no more than that. Otherwise, you’ll end up worrying the whole day.
To do this, write down your worries whenever it comes to your mind or whenever you feel tense. And just say this in your mind: I have time to worry about this later.
This way, we fool our worries. Don’t worry, it’s your life, so it’s not unethical.
Also, writing down our thoughts on screens is harder work than simply thinking them, so your worries are already losing its power and you’re winning the battle.
Slowly you’ll realize that worrying actually doesn’t help.
Because, worrying is taking away your time, your concentration, your peace.
2. Beat your negative thoughts.
To do this, just realize that…
a. We do mistakes.
We’re humans and we do mistakes.
Just realize that not everything is perfect and you can and will do mistakes. We’re humans and we proudly do mistakes.
b. If one thing doesn’t work out, it’s not the end.
Getting rejected by your crush means there’s a good chance for you to get another hot, better girl. Just don’t worry about rejections. Embrace them.
c. We’re not always prepared.
Failing your English test doesn’t necessarily mean you’re an idiot, you don’t know English well, or you’re bad.
It just means the circumstances were bad.
We’re never a failure. Our circumstances are.
d. We’re not a fortune teller.
Just worrying that she is planning to leave you soon doesn’t make any sense. Without proper evidence, you can never come up with a proper conclusion.
Just realize that there’s a positive side to everything.
She might be packing her back for the surprise vacation to San Francisco with you. You never know.
e. You never know other’s thoughts and feelings.
You feeling stupid about yourself doesn’t mean others feel the same.
If you feel stupid about yourself, it simply means you’re procrastinating and aren’t working, so you’re tensed about your dream.
Because humans are unique and we have some unique qualities that others don’t possess. And people might like us just for that unique quality of ours. We never know.
f. Micro-worrying about things isn’t good.
You can’t control what has already happened.
Coming to her home without permission in an intention of surprise, but ending up getting banged by her family is not your fault.
Don’t beat yourself for that.
It’s fine. We learn by mistakes.
g. You’re awesome.
Your friends didn’t call you for that vacation?
You got rejected by her?
Your dad didn’t give you money for your new business?
It’s not a failure. It’s a success. You tried and you failed. The more you fail, the more you learn, thus the more you succeed.
h. We can’t always control things.
Just realize that all the things aren’t in our hands at all times. And it’s alright.
An unknown person called: “I’m sorry your son ran into an accident”
Yourself: “I should have never allowed him to drive. I should have never got him a license. I should have never got the car. I should have never been rich. I should have never been born. It’s my fault.”
You got the idea.
3. Tear the pant, see it’s a solvable or an unsolvable worry.
When you worry, just try brainstorming ways to solve the problem that causes that worry. If you can solve that problem, very cool. If not, just accept the uncertainty.
You’re late for your office for the last few days.
Cool, that’s a solvable worry. Next time, just sleep early and wake early.
“I’m really sorry. You got cancer,” the Doctor.
Now, can you help?
If you have good financial conditions, you may take medications and try to recover. If not, unfortunately, we can’t be sure what will happen.
So, just see the positive side, that you’re still alive, your family members are around, you’re breathing. And, accept the problem, and be happy.
4. Make your worries sweat.
a. Try exercising.
Exercise, the ultimate solution to any kind of pain — physical, mental, and even spiritual.
When you exercise, your body releases chemicals called endorphins. These endorphins interact with the receptors in your brain that reduce your perception of pain and also trigger a positive feeling in the body.
So, start exercising for 10 minutes daily. You’ll start feeling better and you can increase your exercise period later on if you wish.
Remember, every minute counts.
b. Take a yoga or tai chi class.
These are a kind of exercise only.
Practicing yoga or tai chi (Chinese martial art) keeps your attention on the present, as you focus your mind on your movements and breathing, thus helping you to clear your mind and become relaxed.
c. Meditate often.
When you meditate, you switch your focus from worrying about the future or dwelling on the past to the present state. Being in the present state helps interrupt the negative thoughts and feelings that wanders around your mind and takes away your peace.
You can simply find a quiet, comfortable place and use any free smartphone app, like Calm to guide you through the meditation process.
d. Try deep breathing.
When you become anxious, you breathe faster, leading to further anxiety.
So, try deep breathing exercises to quiet your negative mind and calm yourself down.
e. Build a strong support system.
When you’re worried, just talk out loud (TOL).
Build a support system for yourself and ask for help from them. It could be your family member or friends and even colleagues.
But, also be careful to avoid people who are always more anxious than you are. Because worriers can never help another worrier.
f. Practice mindfulness.
Just stay focused on the present, sit back, and acknowledge and observe your worries. And let your worries go. You’ll soon feel better.
I’m Bored. I Want to Worry
If you’re like me who never worries about anything after following these tips, I’ll share with you one of my secrets today.
I intentionally break things at home and don’t disclose that to mom. So, I get anxious about Mom will do to me — which is exactly what I want — I want to worry. :D
High Risk (Only for Professionals):
Sometimes I don’t read the whole year just to worry about my exam on the last night before the exam. DON’T TELL THIS TO MY MOM.
It’s all about perspective. Try seeing things from different perceptions and suddenly life becomes easier.
Worrying never serves a positive purpose. Rather, it takes away your current and future happiness.
Feelings arouse emotions and emotions drive actions.
So try worrying less and be happy by following these tips.
Happiness is contagious.