Why Do You Struggle To Be Happy?

Shajedul Karim
3 min readNov 15, 2019


Because you set this huge goal, and you think when you accomplish it, “that would bring you happiness”, but the minute you achieve it, that’s it, you set another goal. You don’t even take the time to take a break and catch a breath and celebrate maybe for one hour or something like, "yeah, good", okay moving on. That’s the type A, go-getter, achiever mentality.

Happiness is within ourselves!

Happiness is not a destination, that if you get to some place, you make a certain amount of money, if you own a certain amount of things, then you would be happy. Actually, happiness is not something that you seek, it’s something that’s already within you. But a lot of the time, we’re blocking it.

So, you think about why you’re depressed, why you’re unhappy, usually it’s because when your expectation, 'cause you have a certain expectation of how your life
should look like, where you should be by this point'
and your reality don’t match up, you get depressed. You feel very, very unhappy, because this is where you are (reality), and this is where you think you should be (expectation). And the bigger the gap, the more unhappy you are.

So, to be happier, you could do two things:
1. You can either lower your expectations, so that your gap is not as large.
Example, you wanna make a billion dollars and you’re making $1,000 a month now. Well, you’ll feel very, very unhappy, because this is where you should be (a billion dollars), and this is where you are at ($1,000/month).
So, you can now lower your expectations and say, "now I’m gonna make a $1,100."
Now you’re not so back, you’re already making $1,000...you just need $100 more.

2. Or, you can change your reality.
By planning how you can shorten the gap (that’s what an achiever does) and by planning how you could push and challenge your reality to match to your expectation?

You could do that or the other way to look at it is this: where you are now trying to be happy through achievement...working, hustling, doing whatever it takes, just all the work, work, work, work, work. It’s about you, not about other people, you’re egotistical, arrogant, greedy, selfish, because you want to shorten the gap.
But the funny thing is, life is not
just about happiness. Life is also about fulfillment and meaning…when you strive for meaning and fulfillment, where you’re grateful, when you start the day with an attitude of gratitude, coming from a place of giving, coming from a place of love, coming from a place of having (I have) enough, because whatever your goal is, you’re getting the same thing, but just more, right?...you have one car, you want two cars, you want three cars, but it’s the same thing.
If you’re not grateful, you don’t appreciate what you have now, you’re not gonna appreciate what you’ll get then. So, you should be grateful with what you have, while achieving what you want next.

There is a sense of purpose that changes everything. You don’t need to work on to be happy...when you just enjoy the moment and you’re doing what you love and you’re living life on your own terms and you’re naturally, not forcefully bridging that gap, then you’re a happy person.



Shajedul Karim

My story might not matter but it'll gently touch your interior and remind you how smarter you are. Google forced to include numbers: shajedul.karim.01@gmail.com